It’s the little things. Fr. Such as this gingerbread house at The Grove. I’m a little embarrassed to detail my day but fuck it.
I hit a major low today. It was one of those sulk in your bed til you’re sick of feeling sorry for yourself typa days. I swear, I can get so deep in my head sometimes :/. It was def triggered by last night, when things didn’t go as planned. I somehow let that carry into my glorious Friday. Smh.
My one excuse is that it is Friday the 13th. Shit’s not supposed to be okay. Jk. I’m not superstitious. I didn’t make it to class or Disneyland or my brothers. All which were on the agenda. Instead I sulked and ignored people and was an emo fuck. One thing about me is I will always text back. If I don’t, something’s up. It’s my biggest pet peeve and I try my best to treat others how I want to be treated. Yeah, sure, it’s just a dumb text message. But it’s a respect thing with me.
I started to beat myself up over the past week and again, where my priorities lay. I literally coulda gone to the second part of school today but instead just wasted my tuition. I felt so helpless. That feeling of depression where you’re so far gone and just want to wake up tomorrow.
My hg said something that really struck a chord with me. I’ve been thru this a thousand times and I was gonna get thru it again. That was some real ish to hear. It actually helped a lot. It’s just the reality of old habits and thoughts coming back that terrifies me. Waking up to the terrorist attacks in Paris made me feel real dumb too. Like really dumb. 153 people dead for nothing. Honestly tragic. And here I am.
I really didn’t wanna workout, but I did. When in doubt, hit the gym. Endorphins make the world go round. Also got a chance to listen to Skeme’s new album Ingleworld 3, which is raw. I just love his delivery. It reminds me of Nipsey Hussle. Bae. Afterwards, I met my hg to get her some bud. I noticed her eyes were puffy and she had been crying. My heart broke. Fr. As sad as I can get, I cannot deal when others are hurting. We vented for a good minute and I just realized, I’m not the only one. We are ALL going thru it, and there will always be better days than others.
OK END RANT. The Grove made me feel better. Just pretty lights and good vibes overall. My friend hit me to see a movie and I was like, yes. It always helps get my mind off things. We hit up My All American, which I concluded was a PG version of Remember The Titans. Ha. It’s about a football player and his journey to fulfill his dreams of getting to the NFL. It was cheesy, in a Disney movie kinda way.
The movie was slow to begin, but eventually takes a left turn. We were waiting for it too. You know when things are going too good? Yeah. Shit got real real quick. It def touched my heart at the end. If my friends were to ask if they should see it, I’d probably say Redbox it. Unless you have the Moviepass like me. Then by all means haha.
TRACK OF THE DAY: My hg sent me this track earlier today. So fire. Straight up been on repeat since I heard it. Female vocals ftw.