THE GREEN INFERNO.

YOOOO THIS MOVIE IS NOT REAL RN. I’M SERIOUS. I need to process what just happened. This is the most ridiculous film I’ve seen in a minute. And you know I stay watching movies. But DAMN. I don’t even have the words to describe it. My gay bestie warned me it was gory, but this was some next level. The plot doesn’t even matter bc this was pure entertainment haha.

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11:45pm showing at The Grove, Los Angeles. My happy place. Walked up to a PURPLE fountain. My favorite color. You know I was excited. Unfortunately, I had to screenshot my Snapchat bc it turned off exactly at midnight, aka right when I go to take a still photo. Yes midnight, we were late. 20 minutes previews though. If you know me, you know I’ll do anything in my power to skip the trailers. I just think it’s extra time sitting lmao. #ADD.

I met my homie I used to work with at a treatment facility. He’s a nurse (I love bragging about my friends). I remember the first day we met, it was both our first days there. He was getting off as I was starting. That shift ended up being so boring. So I saw his application in front of me and decided to text him. He was probably like omg this bitch is crazy. Who does that?! Ha. Friends ever since.

So already late, and homeboy decides he needs apple juice. So we’re waiting, there’s like a group of 5 ahead of us. And we’re waiting…. I understand it’s slow and one register open makes sense. But COME ON. I cannot deal. Okay I’m beyond inpatient. BUT, this was not okay. I decided to say something. So to the 12 year old children in front of me, I go, “You guys are making us late for the movie.” ZERO. I was actually just trying to be funny for a sec, but they did not appreciate. They barely looked at me. Awkward. Probably talked shit about me when I walked away. Well deserved.

There were only about 4 other people in the theater, and I can only imagine what a full house would have been like. Our reactions in itself were a riot. Back to the film: the main chick Justine, played by Lorenzo Izzo, is a dime. She has these amazing eyes, which in my book, makes you a dime. She agrees to go with a group of people to try to save the Amazon. Their plane ends up crashing in the jungle among a bunch of cannibals. The rest of the movie is just one big horror scene. Body parts were torn, burned, and eaten. I honestly felt my stomach turn multiple times.

The film really made me question how it got passed. Not sure who approves films or the process beyond it, but it was so beyond explicit. Like beyond explicit. In the beginning, they actually showed part of this dude’s penis, that was sooooo unncessary. I was scarred lmao. I think he’s peeing in the scene and then almost gets bit by a spider. I was too busy freaking out haha. That actually set the tone for the ridiculousness the rest of the movie. So now it makes sense why this was only playing at select theaters. Not your average family friendly film.

To say the least, it was a lot of fun. I love things out of the ordinary. Normal is ultimate boring to me. If you can’t tell.

TRACK OF THE DAY: Ran to Casey Veggie’s Live And Grow album again. The track “New Faces” reminded me of how much I loved the first one. Top 20 tracks for sure.

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